Apologies: Another Serving of Crow

As much as I hate to admit it, I don't like the taste of crow. I had someone tell me that people blamed me for the comments on the Informer because I have to approve the comments before they're actually seen by the readers of this blog and I thought that was a bunch of crock. To me, it seemed like a control issue. The woman went on to say that I should think about the people that are being targeted in the comment section of the blog and should think how would I feel if the comments were directed towards me or someone I loved. I guess the person that was relaying this vital information was not a reader of the blog because if she had been reading the blog, she would have noticed that a lot of the comments are vicious and generally directed towards me. But that wasn't really the point of the conversation, the point was to inform me that I shouldn't let readers post comments about the GCB's of her circle. However, there is one comment that I feel I should take responsibility for but I've been putting it off, hoping it would just become a thing of the past. But I think it's something that needs to be addressed. The comment was a full out assault on several people and I never should have allowed the comment to be posted, but at the time I was attracted to drama like a moth to the flame, so after reading the explosive comment, I allowed it to be posted. This comment was made almost two years ago, but the effects of the comment has lingered. I don't think it's necessary for me to call the names of those attacked because it would only serve as another catalyst to re-open the wound, but I think all the parties that were named are well aware of the comment that I'm referring to. First of all, the people that were named are not involved in politics and they were unjustly targeted for reasons that are still unknown. At first, I didn't want to respond because the matter took on a life of its own. Shortly after the comment was made, there were a lot of things that happened; my car was egged and I was removed from certain duties at the behest of some of those that were called female dogs. At that point, I felt that if that's the game they wanted to play then let's play, but I realized that just because they demanded my removal from my position, they didn't have the final say. Nevertheless, I was uprooted from my position. As a result, I let the matter fester and refused to budge on my stance since I was not responsible for the content of the comment, but I was responsible for allowing the comment to be published, especially since the people that were targeted are no way connected to the political scene of Lumberton. In essence, I'm apologizing to all those that were called out in that particular comment. Now, I'm not being totally unselfish by making this apology. I'm doing so because if, now who am I kidding, when I move to a new congregation, I don't want my new church family to be looking at me side-eyed, wondering if I'm going to allow harsh things to be said about them. It's been two years, and a lot of harsh things, on both sides, have been said and it's time to clear the slate. My gifts have been sitting on the shelf, collecting dust for almost two years and I know that it's time to move from a place of toleration to a place of appreciation. If you don't take anything else from this particular post, know this, being hurt is inevitable, but being miserable is an an option.