The New Crack Epidemic

I understand that fashion statements come and go and I am well aware that each generation has a way of expressing themselves. However, I don’t understand why I am subjected to boxers, thong strings and butt cracks on a daily basis. Instead of the sag they are addicted to the crack and I don’t mean the drug; I am speaking of the crack of the behind. There are so many stories about the origin of the sagging pants; they range from the fact that criminals liked wearing baggy clothing to conceal weapons/drugs to the urban legend of men wearing their pants below their buttocks in prison as an advertisement for sex. Now, there's a way to advance your swag without continuing to sag. I have seen fashion shows where the jeans are sitting rather low on the waist, but the model wasn't exposing their underwear. It might work for the fashion industry, but it just doesn't work for everyday living. It’s sad to say that so many have grown accustomed to seeing young men holding onto the waist of their pants to prevent them from falling to the ground. It’s even sadder to know that older men are doing the same. The fashion trend when I was a teen was pressed Izod, Polo, Coca-Cola shirts and Oxford shirts, penny loafers and nicely starched Levis and Lee jeans. True it may have been bland in comparison to today but at least it was tasteful. Today, we're bombarded with images of folks walking around showing their goods. If I see another pair of dirty boxers or a sling shot thong with a jumbo muffin top, I think I'm gonna scream. But I still ask myself why you would want to wear your pants underneath your butt cheeks, forcing you to walk gap legged? In my opinion, there are only two legitimate reasons why a heterosexual man should have his pants resting firmly beneath his anal region: either you're getting a prostate exam or a colonoscopy. But there are other reasons,but they're for those that are "bottoms" (check the urban dictonary) which may include the fact that you think you're on Cell Block C and advertising your boo-gina for the "true" thug on the yard. Otherwise, your pants need to be resting at your waist and your underwear should only be exposed to those you're being intimate with. It seems that our city officials are looking for more ways to add money to the depleated financial coffers, maybe they'll pass Ordinance 12-28 which should be listed under Section XVI of Code 457-69-3, the Show No Ass Law and fine those in violation of the law $100 per butt cheek. Hopefully, I haven't offended anyone with this post, but if by chance I did offend you then I am sure you will soon move on. Now just as others have the right to expose their underwear, I also have the right to vent and now that I have I will move on to the next topic.