You're a DUMB One Merlene (A Parody)

Since Merlene Wall, Lumberton City Clerk, has gotten brave enough to stop hiding and actually took the time out of her busy work schedule to like the Lumberton Informer, I decided to welcome her with the post. The post is a parody of the song "You're a Mean One Mr. Grinch" from The Grinch that Stole Christmas. It's kind of fitting since she's the Grinch that Stole Lumberton or in the words of the auditor, the DUMMY that don't know how to debit, credit or use a computer but somehow she manages to follow this blog; too bad she can't do the same for the general ledgers, recording of the minutes and accessing BBI. Hope you enjoy!

You're a DUMB one Merlene!

You're really a heel.

You're as refreshing as a skunk's perfume.

You're like a rotting banana.

With a slimy black peel.

Just face the music because the auditor penned you against the wall.

You're a monster that can't add, subtract, keep notes and you're about to fall.

You're a miserable, incompetent idiot and a total jerk.

You're too inept to serve as a city clerk.

You're a monster Merlene, yes you are.

Your lies and cover ups can only get you so far.

Now it's time to do some actual work.

And you're showing everyone that you and your supporters are Lumberton's biggest jerks!

You're not capable of adding, subtracting, or keeping a daily log.

But you manage to spend your days at work lurking and checking in on my blog.

You're an expert when it comes to spying and telling lie after lie.

But you can't give an account of what's supposed to be in BBI.

You even lied in court an attempt to keep me away.

But you're on my page day after day.

For months you said you went to training and passed your class.

But you can't prepare a budget to save your ass.

You violated the law to hire the firm of Wright, Ward, Hatten and Guel.

When Charlene describe how much of an idiot you are, you seemed to run out of fuel.

I'm sure you're plotting an excuse to say why you failed.

You may want to go ahead and resign before you and your supporters end up in jail.

You conned this city for too many years.

And no one's falling for your crocodile tears.

You're finally at the end of your rope; so you better tread carefully.

Because your latest and greatest errors can't be blamed on Stephanie.

You're a DUMB one Merlene!

You heart's an empty hole.

Your brain's full of spiders.

You've got garlic in your soul.

If the board had any sense they would send you packing with a thirty-nine and a half foot pole.

But we know they're just as DUMB as you.

We have to wait until May to see what they will do.