Throwing Stones in Glass Houses

I withstood all the vile, hateful language, notes, stares, comments, etc. but I still refused to throw in the towel. There are certain people in Lumberton that wanted me to shut down the blog. Not because I wasn't telling the truth, but because they didn't think "outsiders" should know the truth about the things that are still taking place in Lumberton. People across Lumberton let their hatred for my posting unite them as they channeled their bigoted thoughts in their "we" versus the Informer mentality. With all the hate-filled messages that were cast in my direction, I never thought going to church would make me realize that it's time to shut down the blog and not for the reasons you may think. I certainly wasn't convicted in my spirit, but for the first time, I saw how a one-sided point of view could lead to the casting of stones instead of the mending of fences. There are many times when I would get a tip from someone and I would run with it and let it spread like wildfire; not caring who/what get scorched in it's flames. At times, I questioned the validity of the tip but whenever a person wants to believe a lie, they don't bother searching for the truth. But a lie is a lie is a lie. I don't care if the lie is dressed in finest liturgical wares and spinning to the beat of a Juanita Bynum song; it's still a lie. But people believe what they want to believe and that was the case for me and I saw the results in its full regalia on yesterday. I know I had/have an audience that are more than willing to listen to what I have to say; weather I say it out of anger or out of love. However, just because I have a captive audience does not mean I need to exploit them to capitulate to my views. As the moderator of this blog, I have a responsibility for the things I say and I must accept responsibility for the actions/reactions to the things I say. One thing's for certain, lashing out at people does not represent manhood; especially if your target is a woman. Until yesterday, I didn't realize that despite trying to look like an messenger, I was actually being more of a coccydynia. There are people that may not like what I have to say based on the fact that I'm a black man. But as a black man, I know that if it wasn't for our mother's there would be no brothers and if wasn't for our sisters there would be no misters. If I am going to say I'm all about protecting womanhood while promoting manhood then that principle must be applied to every aspect of my life. How in the Hattiesburg can I pull out the sackcloth and ashes when I'm allegedly attacked by someone when I've left so many bruised and bloody along life's highway? There are people that don't see me when I blog, but at times, I do what I call angry blogging. I would be their typing and hitting the keys so forcefully hoping the anger I'm trying to convey would somehow show in the manner in which I hit the keys on the keyboard. I turned the camera off on the laptop but I'm sure if I could see the look on my face when I'm blogging; it would look like the scene I witnessed yesterday: lips poked out, hitting on things, eyes rolling, neck twitching, etc. but is that how a man is supposed to behave? I think not and until I can display the characteristics of a man, a black man, then I think it's time to put down the pin and start getting real with myself. Now don't do a happy dance just yet because the phasing out of the blog is going to be a slow process; I'm just changing my methodology. I love the fact that hate-filled, unjust individuals get up, log into their computers and check their cell phones and the first thing they say is "Damn, he's at it again!" For the record, there are many of us that have been wounded in our brother's house, but it's strange that the one that inflicts the most wounds is the one that get angry when they realize the knife cuts both ways. Despite what people may say, I am a talented, gifted, blessed Man of God and there is a place out there that will appreciate the gifts and talents I have to offer, but for those that want to put me out; let me rephrase that because they don't want to put me out; they want me to leave so they can continue to think they're better than those that still occupy the house they left. I look around every week and I see the things I brought to the table; from the entry to the exit but when I see something needs to done, I do it and I operate in the spirit of excellence because my service is and always will be unto the Lord (thank you Sis. Kaye Merritt for teaching me that.) We have so many people that want to be like Moses, but I rather be like Joshua and make it to the promise land. There's no doubt that God will plant me my the rivers of living water and through their revisionist history, they may write me out of their history but God knows. For those that are eager for me to leave, please note that when I leave, I'm leaving like the Isralites. I had a reader that was concerned that this blog was taking a turn in the wrong direction and she was correct. But she also has first hand knowledge about the things I'm experiencing because she already been through that fire, but thank God, I've been purged. I'm at a point where even my enemies will be at peace with me and just think, it took a lie to bring about this change. To God Be the Glory because He knows the full story. Over the course of these last few posts, I will be making amends to those I've offended. Now, if something comes up, I will blog about it, but I will be giving some closing insights about the Lumberton I wish we could be. In closing, I would like to say, I would had fainted had I not seen the salvation of the Lord in the land of the living. Peace and blessings.